Did you know that Switzerland makes wine? We didn't either, which is gonna make this podcast pretttttty awkward.  Yeahhhhhhhhh.   Ummmm.  Oh WAIT, there are our notes, nevermind we good we good.  

On this podcast we teach you all about the grapes, regions, and history of Switzerland.  We'll give you the best opinions we can of the country but it's tough, we're usually pretty neutral when it comes to our Switzerland opinions.  Listen to this podcast while you hike up the Matterhorn, or while you wait in line to ride the Matterhorn, or while you try to figure out what is the matter with your horn (ya know, like, if you're in a brass band with faulty instruments).  CHEERS HOMIES!  

Yippee!  On this episode we teach you homies all about the white grape Viognier.  Ever wondered if you'll ever find love?  Sorry, we can't help you there, but we CAN help you learn all about Viognier.  We'll walk you through the grape, the regions it grows in, the best wineries making it, and what to pair it with.  Peppered throughout that lesson, you'll find hilariously bad pronunciations, unneccessary pop culture stream of consciousness jokes, and entirely innapropriate politically incorrect peanut gallery comments to make your long drive with your Republican-voting stepdad both enjoyable and awkward.  Enjoy this podcast by yourself in your closet, or at your local Supreme Court Equality party, either way it's a smash hit!  

You can't mutage this podcast, we're loud and proud, and breakin' it down.  There are so many friggin' drinks in the wine world.  Including those that are fortified before or after fermentation has begun.  We're gonna help you understand the most famous versions of these two little subcategories.  If you're still confused after this is over, blame the European Union.  

What's that little strip of land hanging off the southwest corner of Europe?  BAM! That's Portugal, and they make some wine there.  Don't like mainland wine?  KABLAM!  They also make island wine.  Don't like island wine? SKIDOOSH! Why are you so picky ya butthead?  

On this episode the Wine Homies will be teaching you all about the sweet and not-so-sweet wines of Portugal.  Get ready to learn all about Port, Madeira, Vinho Verde, and the up-and-coming dry, still wines the country is beginning to produce.   

Forgive us in advance for the high-difficulty pronunciations of the Portuguese language, we watched a lot of Brazilian Booty work-out videos to prepare for the difficult sounds.  We'll post an online version later on written entirely in IPA (The international phonetic alphabet, not the India Pale Ale, you can't write something in India Pale Ale...I mean, you could write something under the influence of IPA...but why?  That's a high alcohol beer, you might mistype something).  

Finally...the day you've all been waiting for, a podcast on what to pair with the music of Drake.  Actually...no, that's next week.  This week, we will be talking to you all about the incredibly famous and outstandingly tasty Pinot Noir.  We weave you in and out of the history, geography, taste profiles, and names-to-know for this wildly seductive brunette in a glass.  So sit back in your mushroom chair, grab a cola and a jar of cranberries, and prepare to learn your grape-loving-ass off.  Pinot Noir, at last.  

Buenas Nachos!   On this episode the Homies are coming at you in real time with the wines of Mexico.  Pack a pancho, grab your lasso, hop on your burro, and head on down to the fiesta...where you'll learn a large amount of high school Spanish 1 vocabulary mixed in with a brief history and overview of the wines now being made south of the border.  Could've we have just called this podcast "The Baja Podcast" and focused on the majority of Mexican wine that comes from that one area?  Sure...but then you wouldn't have the whole picture.  The Mexican picture.  Plus we wouldn't have just called it the Baja podcast, we probably would've named it something clever or punny like "Baja Humbug" or something.  Oh great, now we gave you an idea for a clever Baja Podcast name.  Just great.  Could we delete what we just wrote?  No, our keyboard has no 'delete' button because we're just that confident.  We don't make misteaks.  Denada Homies.  Denada.  

Polish off your rice grains homies, we're going straight Sake on your bums! 

Ever wanted to learn just a little bit about Sake and then forget most of what you just learned?  Well then do we have an episode for you.  Listen to this episode while you practice holding chopsticks.  Allow the mold to form to your ipods.  Put this Koji in your ears.  

During World War II, many people built Sake Bomb Shelters, which were shelters where they could drink Sake Bombs without dying from literal bombs.  That's not true.  Or is it?  We've had a lot of Sake.  

Did you know that agave isn't actually a cactus?  It's a member of the Lily family; ya know from the genus monocot; also known as Monocotyledon; AN ANGIOSPERM!  

If you didn't know this you should listen to this episode all about Tequila.  Do we teach you this very thing in the episode?  Heck no we just told you in this episode description.  Does this mean you should start reading all of the descriptions?  Hellz yeah.  

Are we being a little anal retentive?  Not according to Freud's original definition Homies.  STAY IN SCHOOL!  Also, enjoy this fascinating study on Tequila.  Denada.  

The Gamay grape, forever misunderstood, always controversial.  

This episode of Wine for Sophisticated Homies will teach you all about the grape Gamay Noir a Jus Blanc.  Should there be an accent over that "a"? Yes, but we don't know how to do that on our keyboard.  Plug in your headphones and stimulate that soft spot for gamay you never even knew you had.   Cheers m'dears.   

Ever wanted to learn about the Veneto?  Okay...well, fine then, learn, sheesh, stop yelling at us.  We're RIGHT HERE.  

Strap on your headphones, grab your gondolas.